Drugs

 I would probably never take drugs, because I'm afraid of anti-depressants and stimulants. They probably won't help me and would just feel like a temporary happiness that is basically a facade. It will wear off, I wanna feel truly happy. Not just from some janky drug that I took to feel that way, I'm not that desperate yet, and plus it can fuck my life up and shorten it. Valium, codeine, morphine, whatever it is. Would never take it or use a dose at all. LSD is not an option either, I just wanna look for the light, but it seems to not be bright.

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