I wanna be loved.

 Saying this like a stupid ass, I just wanna be loved. I don't know if I've repeated saying that. But I still feel no one loves me, even if they seem to do. It makes me feel torn, and I want it to go away. But I seem to never grasp the feeling of being loved even if it is "there". 

I don't want a lot of friends, but I have close ones currently because I was forced to socialize with them. Drugs will not help me, anti-depressants are never an option, they just scare me.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

On the friend group I despise.

There is a friend group made sometime I assume in 2022 on Discord after the use of group chats due to a single person annoying others. I won't mention names to protect identity, but I'll only put an initial. I hate this group, I was part of it's 'regime' beforehand, but this server used to be cool, it was created by let's say, someone named 'A'. A was a cool person, he is quite nice at first, and I did join some of his older servers before the creation of this group. He made a discord bot give everyone an admin role, that's where other individuals from older group chats join such as N and J. Now, it was all well, we had fun, but my first issue was created after the mention of playing games, it was tiring, I didn't want to join VC forever and play with A, N and J.  It was boring sometimes, and even in some cases I wanted to have time with myself, but no, I couldn't. It all began with just simple Roblox or Garry's Mod. It got worse after a
Read more

Escapism

My scenario for escapism is of being a furry, that's what I've wanted to be as I was growing up from elementary, I closeted my desire until now, where I openly am a furry, with of course, removing some friends to show my true colors behind closed doors.  Sometimes, though, I feel like I haven't fulfilled it, I want to be a furry at full potential, but it sucks because it feels like something is wrong but in reality, nothing is wrong. I can't even open up, not even to my sibling.
Read more

It's so easy.

 It's so easy to give up that it's funny. I wish I wasn't this way, and it seems like nothing really improved over the time, this wound isn't healing and I'm still a general mess-up. I wish I wasn't bad, so useless and worthless to the world. Why haven't I just died? It's easier than I think to kill myself, but I never brought myself to do it, still living in agony in this world people call a 'life'. I hate this 'life', because really, nothing is changing for me. Nobody is gonna look out for me and everything will be the same even if I'm alive or not.
Read more